Sunday, March 13, 2011

The I'ds of March

I love the krokus' (I think that right, plural of the flower krokus is krokus' right? Or is it krokus and a single flower is a kroki?) and the daffodils of spring. I love the fact that it's getting warmer outside and the robins are visible once again. I even am reminded of summer by the smell of a dead skunk in March! Yes, there are many reasons to love March but there are a few "I'ds" that I put together that I think you all may agree with.

  1. I'd rather not have all the rain/snow/rain. I have four dogs and my back yard looks like a big mud pie. Every time I let the dogs out we have to wipe of their feet because they are traipsing around in a bunch of mud. Now there's nothing wrong with mud, if you didn't have mud women couldn't get mud packs to make themselves feel better. Still don't understand how that works. Do they look at the mirror with all that mud on their face and then, when the mud's all cleaned off do they say, "WOW, I'm really am a lot more beautiful without all the mud on my face!" Another good thing about mud is female mud wrestling. Now I've never been to one of these events but I've heard that they're a lot of fun. No, there's nothing wrong with mud, I would just rather not be wiping it off of my dogs feet every couple hours.
  2. I'd like to keep the clocks on one time all throughout the year. We all love the "fall back" thing. We get an extra hours sleep! But boy do we regret that "fall back" when we have to "spring ahead". We loose a hours sleep, ahhh!! By the way, contrary to common understandings, Ben Franklin did not start daylight savings time, although, when he was in France he suggested that people get up early and go to bed early to save on candles. The daylight savings was started by George Vernon Hudson to reduce the amount of electric lighting used at night. Oh yeah, and many people thought it was for the farmers but actually, some reports say that this hinders farmers more than helps them. I say let's keep the clocks on one time and use up that electricity! We need more global warming anyway, at least here in Ohio!
  3. I'd prefer to start a diet and exercise program once in the new year and not get to March and hear these words on radio and TV, "Now at McDonalds, for a limited time, Shamrock Shakes". And it's not bad enough that they come out with the Shamrock Shake in March but now they put whipped topping and a cherry on top as well. Great way to break a diet. But we can't blame it all on McDonalds because guess what opens in March after being closed for a long winter. THE DAIRY QUEEN! Now every blizzard known to man can be purchased and don't forget the banana split! But McDonalds and Dairy Queen both take a back seat to the most evil thing to ever come about to ruin a diet. You seen them every year in March but the order start way before that. They are evil, they are relentless and they hate everything about diets. They are, THE GIRL SCOUTS. With their thin mints and peanut butter sandwiches they will ruin all that you've worked for. I swear, they want to keep the nation nice and plump. Because then they will be the only thin ones. The young girls with all the metabolism to burn the calories from those girl scout cookies.

Well so much for the "I'ds" of March and I know you all feel the same way I do. At least all of you that have a few pounds to loose like me!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Figured as a vent you would like to know!
There is a film coming out called Dumbstruck in select cities. The film is a documentary and was filmed at the 2007 Vent Haven convention and revolves around 5 vents of all ages and skill level (one of them being Terry Fator, a winner from American's Got).
Anyway, their facebook page is having a contest giveaway. Winner gets an "AXTELL PUPPET."
Its very easy, all you have to do is send a short video with you and a puppet (If you dont have a puppet, you dont need one, you can use a sock or just your hand) and tell them why you should win! its that easy!
Heres the link! Good lUck!